Diary of a Care Home Inmate

02 October 2020

Time passes and lifestyles change, many as a result of shortages. I was brought up at a time when food was limited, in fact some rationing was still in force the year I was born. It ended the following year. With all that is occurring now, rationing might very well return. 

Back in the 1950’s, here in the UK the ‘traditional’ meal consisted of meat and two different vegetables. My father was a keen gardener, had a separate vegetable patch, he grew a whole range of fruits like gooseberries, blackberries, strawberries and the like. But in time he found it was cheaper to buy all of those than to grow them. That too may change in time to come.

When I started work and later began living on my own, I got used to eating my main meals in the office canteen (sorry, staff restaurant!) so I was having quick meals at night when I arrived home. Cooking was not something I did much of, I admit. I also found eating proper meals at regularly spaced intervals suited me, so I rarely ate late at night. I would go out with friends a couple of nights a week, but I usually had just two or three pints of real ale over the whole evening, as did my friends. We went out to socialise, to chat, sometimes have differences of opinion but generally we got on well and we put the world to rights. We learned from each other, too. I had a very strict limit of one, perhaps two pints if I was driving. (As things are for me now, especially with the medication, I do not have any alcohol at all and I have been like that for a quite a few years now.) Back then I was in a team at the local ten-pin bowling alley, I played cornet in a local brass band, I also sang bass in a couple of mixed-voice choirs.

But circumstances do change. A few job moves meant I was travelling a great deal, meaning early starts and returning home late so I wasn’t socialising or even meeting my colleagues outside of work. It meant I wasn’t eating properly, so as a result I put on weight. Now, some years before I had developed Psoriasis, probably brought on by the stress of the job I was doing and me not managing the stress. I used to bottle it up inside me! But that changed after some good advice from a doctor. Thankfully the medication I was on kept my epilepsy well under control, but the Psoriasis was sadly getting worse and that worried me, which of course exacerbated the problem!

I did some research and slowly adjusted my diet, cutting out red meat. It was also around this time that I was told about the relaxation therapy that I have mentioned in earlier posts. Job changes meant that I wasn’t travelling as much, I was eating a bit more sensibly but not always. Then my job meant me moving house and starting a new job, still with the same firm though. I found it quite stressful at times, as some of the people I was working with weren’t the easiest to manage! Thankfully the Arka Dhyana relaxation therapy helped and in time the Psoriasis began to clear. In addition, I found that a more vegetarian diet, along with a bit of pescatarian, made a really big, positive difference in me.

For a few years the firm had been cutting back on staff and eventually I was given a choice, so I left. That change was a great deal more stressful than I had expected. I was helped by some good friends and so I eventually began my own business.

Over the years I’d had regular check-ups on my epilepsy as my body got used to the medication I was on. All seemed fine, but then about five years ago I started to have epileptic fits, so I was put on different medication and that controlled things. But these fits had come on without warning, on one occasion when I was driving but I somehow managed to stop the car, half on the pavement apparently as I do not remember the event at all. A policeman was driving by, realised something was wrong and called for assistance. That put me in hospital and I stopped driving for medical reasons, but I then chose to stop completely and I sold my car. I’d not hurt myself or anyone else whilst driving and I didn’t want to risk doing so in the future. 

Time passed and on reaching the age of 65 I retired, closing my business. I was now having to walk with a stick and sadly I wasn’t looking after myself as well as I should have done, hence the problems mentioned in an earlier blog entry. For that reason this year I ended up first in a local hospital, then various Care Homes. Now I feel happier, I am eating properly and I am getting regular exercise. I have been able to change my lifestyle, it can be done. I needed people around me to support me in this change and I thank them very much for all they have and are doing. We need a bit of positive support sometimes, to have that person say “You’re doing the right thing”. That is true in every way, be it mentally, physically or spiritually, in all ways of life.

But following a truly healthy lifestyle can bring more than just better health, it can bring happiness. It might mean just a few changes at times, so I say yet again – sometimes it ain’t easy, but from what I’ve seen with others and what I’ve done in the last few months, it is worth the effort – even if it doesn’t go down too well with everyone we know! We should surely all live our lives as best we can, in ways that make us as happy and content as we can possibly be. That’s my view, for what it’s worth. Living better can also be a real bit of encouragement to others. We are living in difficult times and we do not know quite how quickly things will settle down. But it won’t go back to how things were perhaps a year ago. As I have said before, ‘change is the one constant in this universe!’

No jokes to finish with this week, but a delightful memory to share with you. I was about to have my morning tea and toast last Saturday when I looked out of the window and saw a squirrel bounding across the lawns where I am! It was such a lovely thing to see and a delightful start to the day…

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

25 September 2020

Something I have always found annoying is the use of abbreviations without any explanation of their meaning. My favourite is itself a TLA (Three Letter Abbreviation). The company I used to work for had CSS, this being (for them) Customer Service System. Then later I learned much about how to create web pages for my business website and I was told about CSS, but in this instance these were Cascading Style Sheets! Another one from work, relating to the telephone service was NDT. So I knew this as meaning No Dial Tone, but chatting to an old RAF friend of mine I learned that to him it meant Non-Destructive Testing!

With all this Covid-19 business, I am now starting to see government statistics on Twitter and elsewhere and a mention was made of ‘MSOA data’. So we are now into four-letter abbreviations. Now you may be aware of this already, but Middle-layer Super Output Areas (MSOA) are part of a geographic hierarchy designed to improve the reporting of small area statistics in England and Wales. These are, from what my research has found, built from groups of contiguous Lower-layer Super Output Areas, so I guess that makes them LSOA. I have also found a web page that explains these delightful terms:

https://ocsi.uk/2019/03/18/lsoas-leps-and-lookups-a-beginners-guide-to-statistical-geographies/

There’s also an awful lot more to this, all relating to Census data, which may be found on the Office for National Statistics (ONS) website, all I will say is that as I’ve said in a previous blog, the more we learn, the more we find there is to learn! But I do wish the person writing the article mentioning the MSOA data had taken the trouble to either explain the term or put a link in to where an explanation could be found and not presume that we would know what it was all about!

It is my guess that the writer would think that we might not understand such terms and in true ‘Sir Humphrey Appleby’ style (as done in that excellent tv series ‘Yes, Minister’ & ‘ Yes, Prime Minister’) be so confused and not bother to find out. If we did, we might start asking questions, and that would not do at all!

As many of you know, I have more than a passing interest in photography as well as in computers. There are always people wanting to learn, but if we do not explain them, our use of abbreviations can make a person new to the subject feel like it is a ‘closed shop’ so they feel like they are not welcome. As a result, I try my best to say through the lens (TTL) metering, where light is measured directly through the lens of the camera as well as describing a single lens reflex (SLR) camera as one where the user can look through the viewfinder at the rear of the camera but typically uses a mirror and prism system (hence “reflex” from the mirror’s reflection) that permits the user to view through the lens and see exactly what will be captured. Folk hear the terms at the same time as their meanings.

It is just the same with computers, where you will probably know that CD refers to Compact Disc, CPU is Central Processing Unit and OS is Operating System, but there are so many, many more! If these terms are explained, newcomers may be more inclined to ask for more details and consider buying, rather than being put off.

Even so, I try not to feel embarrassed at not knowing! I am a fan of American Football and I have been for quite a few years, but I’m still very well aware as to how little I know about the game, the rules, player positions… The list of their abbreviations and codes seems endless! It is true that some of the terms we use are not timeless, one I can think of refers to the use of a hallucinogenic drug popular in the sixties and seventies, but the same term was also used to describe the currency of pounds, shillings & pence used here in the UK prior to the 15th of February 1971, when decimal currency was brought in.

I realise it depends who you are talking with, like knowing their knowledge level but a simple, polite question can save a great deal of misunderstanding. I try my best not to presume, but take the extra time to explain what an abbreviation means. I was taught to do this when the abbreviation was first used, as it would  make sense to the listener and would be  more likely that they would remember its meaning as well as its relevance.

So abbreviations have their place but they can add humour too. I am an avid fan of Star Trek and one character goes by the name of Spock. At one time, my job meant that I was the person others called on if they wanted to know about or had a problem with a certain computer system. I was therefore a Single Point Of Contact – I was SPOC! Entirely logical, in my view…

I’ll stop at this point with a question:
Can wearing an open-necked shirt be considered as a tie-break?

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

18 September 2020

Some time ago a friend of mine wanted to buy a computer and they asked me for my advice on what they should get. I asked them what they would use it for, but sadly they had no idea, it was because they had been told by a younger member of their family that they ought to get one! That to me was not a good enough reason. I got them to learn a bit about computers and maybe get that younger person practicing their teaching skills by showing what they used their own computer for. It is a truism that we don’t know what we don’t know!

As part of a training course I went on some years ago, I learned of something called ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs’, which graphically displays the levels of our needs, from basic needs to feeling self-fulfilled. What I have found through my personal experience (and what I find fascinating) is how Maslow’s definition is so accurate.

In all, these needs are as follows:

Physiological
Safety
Belongingness and love
Esteem
Self-actualisation

The first two, Physiological and Safety, are basic ones – food, water, warmth & rest, then safety & security. We need these to survive. Belongingness & love are all on intimate relationships and friends. This, along with Esteem, regarding prestige and the feeling of accomplishment, relate to our psychology. But the top one, which is Self-actualisation, is all on fulfilment, like achieving our full potential, including our creative activities.

As a child I was given a simple camera, a Kodak Instamatic – it really was ‘point & click’! When I started work I bought a new camera that enabled different lenses to be fitted to it. A while later I got to do all the official photos at the wedding of a friend and they were delighted with the results, so that pleased me! I have continued to take the photos I like, mainly outdoor ones of sunsets, landscapes, holidays, but a few family ones and special events too. Did I need to have and know how to use a camera? Yes, most certainly!

When I was younger, in my late twenties, I wanted a particular car, in my case a Ford Capri. I got myself a good one, it served me well, it kept me all good and safe, even when I accidentally crashed it! I’d had a busy week working so I was tired, it was a Sunday morning, it had been a fairly long journey, the roads were quiet and I was about two miles from the place I lived. I made a wrong decision. The car could not be repaired, but I wasn’t even a little bit scratched. I had wanted that car, but did I need it? I did that day!

A little while later I put my name down to buy a house. I was seeing someone and she thought it was a good idea too, but in the end it didn’t work between us. Then I got a call from the builder, asking if I still wanted the house. I said yes, went to see the plot of land where the place was still being built and happened to meet an RAF guy whose house had been finished and he was just moving in. We became friends and still are, over thirty years later! When I have needed help he has been there and I have helped him. Did I need that house? I am glad I made the right decision!

A few years later my work moved me once more, this time to Nottingham. I bought a place near Chesterfield, I bought my first proper computer and taught myself how to use it, in some cases program it! Then work moved me around the Midlands, I enjoyed the work, learning all the time. As before, others asked me what value it was in me knowing about computers. Then it was all change, I was off again, this time to Sheffield and for a while Manchester!

By now I was a qualified trainer, standing up there in front of folk, telling them what to do and how to use some new computer software. It was fun. At least, I thought so. Finally it was time to move again, this time down to sunny Leicester, to a job where I continued training folk. The firm that I’d  worked for were cutting back on staff, so after 38 years it was goodbye. After a great deal of help and encouragement (you know who you are and I thank you very much!) I started my own business, but what in, you may ask? Photography and Computer Training! Did I need that camera? Did I need that computer? If you’ve read all of this, then you know my answer!!!

But surely, I hear you say, it couldn’t have always worked out well? In truth you are right. Whilst first on my travels by train to work, I met and actually ‘chatted up’ a pretty female. (My dear mother didn’t believe me – her shy, youngest son had been chatting up a female whilst on a train???) As it happened, around the same time I had by chance bumped into another female who I found very attractive, but I didn’t go with my gut instinct, I stayed with the the girl from the train. Ever the old romantic I guess… Anyway, we settled down for a while together, married then divorced as I found she was seeing another and didn’t want me. But that’s how life is sometimes.

So what we perceive to be a need isn’t always. We can however try to trust our own instincts. If we ‘feel’ it is right, then we should do it in my view. If it becomes hard work, when you are really struggling and nothing is working for you, then perhaps consider doing what I do. I take a step back, look objectively, then do what I know is right. I try and trust my instincts.

In the last few weeks and months I have had to do exactly that. There are some things I have had to make adjustments to in my life and it ain’t easy, but I have got some good and lovely people around me. I appreciate them all. Actually a few of my friends have asked how I am coping, now that I am surrounded by these inmates in this Care Home, but they’re not so bad and as I’ve said, the ‘guards’ are lovely and the food is good, but I will still moan just a tiny little bit if I get cold toast of a morning…

I am also reminded of a lovely line from an episode of Star Trek (the original series) by Spock. He had expected to get married but found his fiancée did not want him, so he turned to the new man in this girl’s life and said “She is yours. After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.” Since first hearing that I have always done my best to remember.

Right now I’m better off than a few folk I know or am hearing about and I am truly thankful to be alive for as long as I am meant to be. I will give what help I can as, where and when I am able to. Do I need a walking frame? Right now, you bet I do – but that will change. I already have that walking stick to support me when the time arrives…

To end this week I’ve chosen the following:
A car driver is in his car. He stops a pedestrian and the two of them start a conversation.
Car driver: Excuse me, can you tell me the quickest way to get to the nearest town?
Pedestrian: Are you walking, or driving?
Car driver: I’m driving…
Pedestrian: Well, that’s the quickest way, then…

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

11 September 2020

Following on from last week’s blog I must report that us inmates are still in lockdown and confined to quarters. I learned that it was a member of staff who had tested as positive for Covid-19. So they have had to bring in staff from other places to cope. It has meant us being checked regularly for our temperature and no doubt we are also being watched for any adverse signs. In addition, last Saturday morning I was so bitterly disappointed to be told that I couldn’t be given my normal medication at my usual time as they did not have stock of them. This included the tablets I take to control my epilepsy. I’ve been on regular medication for this since my first epileptic fit in 1973 and I’ve made sure to keep a good supply of tablets so I would never run out.

So in this Care Home, where medication is kept in a central location and where they surely must have a system for monitoring minimum stock as well as ordering well in advance and ‘chasing up’ on orders, I do not know how this oversight could have occurred. I appreciate that I have recently had to change from one surgery over to another as a result of being in this Care Home, so maybe that is why the problem occurred. I was most unhappy, but the extra tablets were obtained. I know the staff here were and are doing their best, but it still stressed me out. In addition, it has meant some staff coming in on their days off and that cannot be easy for them at all.

I fully expect that I, along with all the other inmates here, will be kept confined as far as is possible until at least fourteen days has elapsed. They will probably do a check on us all as well as the Carers. This is right and proper, I have no problem with any of this. Well, apart from perhaps one thing – of a morning, I have a lovely mug of tea along with toast & marmalade, but at the moment there are rare times when the toast is almost cold!!!

However, if that’s all I can find to complain about, it’s not so bad really. So I will be a patient patient as I am sure that things will be back to ‘normal’ before too long and my toast will be warm again! I had a really lovely fried egg sandwich for my breakfast one morning, it was hot and so tasty! Thank you!!!

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

04 September 2020

I know that for some people the winter-time causes changes in behaviour, this is referred to as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It is then characterised by a loss of pleasure or interest in one’s normal every-day activities along with irritability as well as feelings of despair, guilt, also a feeling of worthlessness. In addition, there might be a degree of lethargy (lacking in energy) as well as feeling sleepy during the day.

An added problem can be that with all the restrictions around Covid-19, only now are people getting very limited access to their family and friends. This will be having an effect on, for example, the inmates and all the staff where I am at present as well as everywhere else.

Recently we have had a few cooler days,  of little sunshine and periods of grey skies.  I know that for me personally I am at my best when it is neither too hot or too cold. I have been invited to spend a holiday over in India, but when I can go it will have to be as and when it is almost their coolest and probably wettest of times!

It is well known that those who climb high mountains have to be careful because the higher they go, the thinner the air due to the reduced air pressure. But changes in our weather bring high or low pressure to us at ground level, so I have an idea that these changes can also affect our mood, how we feel and how we cope from day to day. Also many people really enjoy bright days and look forward to all the sunshine they can, hence the reason that holidays abroad are so popular. Bright days in the sunshine will be what they all look forward to. Most people, anyway.

But what of the moon? It has an effect on the earth, we know from the way the tides change during the year. I  was talking to a friend of mine and I was reminded that there would be a full moon on the second of September. I know it can affect some, I wondered though what effect that might have on the people in this place, given the problems they have. So I decided to watch the behaviour of the other inmates as best I could here over the few days prior to and afterwards.

Then on the day of the full moon, changes occurred. I had my tablets slightly late but also all of us inmates were kept in our own rooms. This was due to a person testing positive for Covid-19, apparently. All our meals were brought to us and I wondered if this situation would remain for fourteen days, just as I had been isolated when I first got here. Time would, literally, tell. I could only presume that someone, my guess a Carer, had tested positive, unless an inmate had showed any signs.

As a result, any effects that the full moon might or might not have were not now so easy to identify because inmates were not able to meet or at the very least be in the same room as each other. They might not talk very much, but being with others can have a really comforting effect. It seems to me, at least.

Consequently I was unable to determine with any degree of certainty as to whether the full moon had affected anyone here, inmates or Carers etc, in this Care Home. I have made a note on when a full moon will occur again and if possible I will note any effects at that time!

Finally this week I couldn’t end without mentioning the following, as it made me chuckle. Normally my supper is a tasty sandwich and perhaps a cake which are served on a proper plate, along with a nice mug of tea. But one night the food items were served on a pad of paper napkins. I did wonder if perhaps they were trying to save on washing up??? Just a thought…

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

28 August 2020

Whilst walking along a corridor at the Care Home here one day, I saw a few Carers all standing at the doorway to an inmates room. It made me wonder just what the collective noun for such a group of Carers might be. A Cluster, perhaps? No, not likely, that would be too easy! A Conglomerate of Carers? The jury is still out on that one…

Meanwhile, a Facebook friend tells me a man has been injured at a teddy bears picnic. He’s ok, but he’s not out of the woods yet… I told him, no big surprise there, then!

(Yes, I can hear you all sighing from here – it wasn’t that bad a joke, surely!?!?!)

Anyway, back to reality. I was chatting to a Carer and saying how quickly time now seems to pass as we get older. As a child, I soon learned to occupy my time with a lot of reading, as well as making stick-together kits like Airfix models – I really enjoyed those. To begin with I was putting together small aircraft, but I then went on to making the bigger items like old sailing ships, using black cotton to imitate the rigging. Once done, those took pride of place on a shelf! Making all these was good therapy for my weak right hand – I guess it also kept me quiet and out of any trouble!

As I got older I carried on reading, finding certain authors whose style I enjoyed. Of course I was also going out with friends, I was singing in a couple of choirs, I found I enjoyed ten-pin bowling (sadly that place was closed down), but still the time flew by. At one point changes at work meant I had to think quickly as we were told that computers were to be introduced! With my weak right hand I couldn’t type, but my father kindly let me have the use of his typewriter so that I could at least learn the  layout of a keyboard. That way I could type fairly well with my left hand, as I was not searching for the letters all the time! I found it helped a great deal.

Then in 1981 I saw a small computer in a shop, it was a Sinclair ZX81 but unlike the computers we have nowadays, this had no ‘permanent’ storage capability for any programs or personal data. All it had was an operating system. The programs had to be either typed in manually each time the computer was used, or they could be loaded in using sounds stored on a tape via a cassette recorder. The sequence of sounds were recognised by the computer and cleverly converted into a program. The output volume from the cassette recorder had to be set exactly right, too! I used to buy a few computer magazines where programs had been printed and I spent absolutely hours copying the computer code into the computer. Except sometimes there would be a mistake on the printed page and the program would not work – it was extremely frustrating, especially when the error was corrected (with an apology!) in the next edition of the magazine.

The ZX81 had a memory capacity of one kilobyte, or 1,024 bytes. Each ‘byte’ then equated to a single character, which was a letter or a number, a comma, full stop, a space even, so that was not much. There was an extra 16k RAM (Random Access Memory) pack that could be plugged in to the rear of the computer, but that wasn’t ideal as moving or knocking it even a little bit was enough to lose a connection, so that the computer had to be restarted, the tape wound back and the loading process begun all over again! Oh yes, and the computer didn’t have a screen – to view and run the programs, a small black and white tv was needed.

Happily the following year a much better computer came along, this was a Sinclair Spectrum. It had a colour display rather than black & white, although a separate tv still had to be used. My ZX Spectrum had 48k (49,152 bytes) of RAM memory, but just as with the ZX81, as soon as it was turned off all the programs were lost and they had to be loaded back in when the computer was switched on again. I was delighted when Sinclair Computers were taken over by Amstrad, who made a Sinclair 128 with 128k of memory. I’ll let you work out how many bytes that was! It also had a disk drive and this meant all programs and data could be stored and reloaded much more quickly. But this was still before the days of CD’s, DVD’s or any kind of storage on the computer itself.

In 1993 I bought a modern computer with a monitor, keyboard & mouse which had a huge amount of memory compared to the Spectrum 128. It had four megabytes of RAM memory as well as in-built storage for both programs and data, which was retained even when the computer was turned off! Ever since then I’ve continued to enjoy using a range of computers, I’ve learned a basic computer language, but as with most things, the more I learn the more I find there is to learn. Actually I shouldn’t have written the computer language name as basic, as it is actually BASIC – Beginners All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code! My computers to this point were using an operating system made by Microsoft which they called ‘Windows’. Later on I had to learn about computers made by Apple and they have a slightly different operating system but it is easy to get used to.

Nowadays the latest computers have a really massive amount of storage space, gigabytes and even terabytes! For more detail on this, have a look at the Data Measurement Chart at: http://www.wu.ece.ufl.edu/links/dataRate/DataMeasurementChart.html

Technology has changed, there are clever people out there, but what I find so very entertaining are the people who come along with what they think are new ideas, but quite often they are in fact the same ideas as we had when we were younger. I am reminded of a fun item in an old radio series done by the late, great Douglas Adams, called ‘The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy’, where a group of people from another planet were inventing the wheel. Before getting it into production they were having a bit of trouble agreeing quite what colour it should be! There are times when the simplest of things can be made to be unnecessarily complicated.

Time passes, the world turns, many things change but many things remain the same. We are presently dealing with Covid-19, so I wonder what our lives will be like in, say, one years time!?!? I’ll let you know, please watch this space….

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

21 August 2020

I have been asked “Why is this web page so named?” You may have seen in the Introduction at the very bottom of this page I explain the origins of the name ‘Diary of an Inmate’. But the web page name? That’s different. It goes back to 1979, when a singer called Judi Tzuke released a song called ‘Welcome To The Cruise’. I liked the song.

Much later, in 2010, I had a heart attack. I had to have regular check-ups, but I was doing well so when I reached sixty years of age in 2013, I treated myself to a proper holiday, something I’d not had for quite a while. Now, when I say a ‘proper’ holiday, it was the like of which I’d never had before! I’d managed two weeks in Portugal a couple of times, I’d also been to the USA twice, but for no more than two weeks maximum.

So when I phoned my dear Mum to tell her I was going to be on holiday for a while, it came as something of a surprise to her when I said I’d be away for three months, because I was going on a round the world cruise! I agreed to send her details of the 99-day journey and I thought I could also write a daily diary. I’m sure you can guess what title I decided to give that!

As it turned out, I did send over the details of each days journey to Mum and these details were well received, as she shared them with the other inmates of the Care Home she was in at the time. I learned a while later that they used to talk about all the places I visited, it gave the folks there something very different to chat about. I’d never considered that. But I didn’t do a full diary each day, as many of them were spent simply travelling at sea and there was little to report on. I also enjoyed having a proper break, doing as much or as little as I wanted to do each day. It was a real holiday. But I kept the web page and decided to use it for this, my journey as I cruise through my life as it is now!

Interestingly the journeys are surprisingly similar as I am having excellent meals, I’m being well looked after, meeting all sorts of different people, the temperatures vary, there’s rain and sun and I get to have a walk round as much or as little as I can or wish to do. The view from my window doesn’t change, there’s green grass rather than blue sea outside and the building doesn’t move like a ship does – that took a bit of getting used to when I was back on dry land again, as after 99 days at sea I was very used to the ship moving around!

As a result, when I came up with the idea of writing this blog, I thought here we go then – ‘Welcome to the Cruise!’.

I cannot leave this weeks writing without sharing the tale of what happened to me one evening this week. My supper arrived as usual, it consisted of a mug of tea along with a plate of bread & jam, also a packet of crisps. The usual night-time snack. But the packet of crisps had been placed on top of the bread & jam, so one side of the packet now had jam all over it! My weak right hand made it difficult for me to hold the packet and clean it with a paper towel, so I pointed the problem out to one of the carers, who kindly cleaned the packet for me. I thanked them, but to me it was the best way I knew to resolve the problem in a kindly way and at the same time highlight just how unthinking someone had been! Ah well, these things happen don’t they! The folks here have a great deal to do and it isn’t easy for them.

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

14 August 2020

We know that on this lovely planet there are days of sunshine, of showers or a mixture of both. Occasionally we can get storms with thunder and lightning, though not everyone enjoys those as much as perhaps I do. I know of a dog in one Care Home who definitely doesn’t like them!

But come rain or shine, we get good days & nights along with some not so good ones. Over the years, first working for a large company and then running my own business, I learned that I really did need a better work/life balance. I also had to learn to slow down and realise that if I wasn’t here, the world would not end.

So a combination of age and poor health  meant that I retired. However, that retirement was not the beginning of the end, to me it was a whole new beginning! I began to learn to try and take better care of myself, so the other day after a lovely shower I was given a haircut as my hair was getting long again! The carer did a brilliant job and I felt so much better as a result. My thanks, you know who you are.

Our lives can be like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, except we don’t always know what the big picture will be until nearer the end! Some bits can be really boring at times, like fitting in bits of plain blue sky, but then the sun will appear and (literally!) shed light on the proceedings. Often we work with others, some can be a help whilst others a hindrance, insisting they know exactly how and where certain pieces should go. But that’s often to suit their big picture, not yours.

It sometimes feels like I’ve been working on several different jigsaw puzzles, but only now do I begin to realise that they are in fact all part of the same, big picture.

Now, I hope I’m not revealing any secrets here but I’ve discovered that where I am at the moment, they are looking to start a ‘Carer of the Month’ scheme. It sounds like a good idea, but I wonder what prize the winner will get! We shall see… Good luck and well done to all the staff as they do a difficult job very well here. I know the inmates (as I call them) may not all show their appreciation for what is done for them but the thanks is surely there and they would express it if they could. If not, they really ought to!

One of the reasons I say this is because downstairs in the dining room some days there are inmates calling out for a cup of tea, despite it being lunch time. Normally we get a choice of either blackcurrant juice or orange juice, but plain water is provided if asked for. However, one day an inmate tipped some of his soup into the jug of orange juice that was on his table. He thought it was funny, but naturally the staff were not amused! There are times when some of the inmates here truly are behaving like children.

Just as the days are a mixture of sunshine and showers, so must our lives be. It would surely be a boring, robotic life if every day and every thing was the same. I feel for some of the inmates here as they may not now see how things truly are, but they are alive and being well cared for. So many of us can look back on how things used to be, perhaps wish things had been different, but things happen the way they are meant to. I am a firm believer in that.

Many years ago I moved to a house near Chesterfield, even though my work was in Nottingham. This was a decent place and my fiancée approved so all was well! Later on when our marriage didn’t work out, I stayed in the house I’d bought (well my bank owned it really!) but that turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because although to begin with I was doing a good deal of travelling to and from work, most especially when work got me moved to Birmingham,  it made life easier when I got a job working back in Sheffield.

That led to me becoming a ‘trainer’, able to teach others in the firm. When work was moved, this time to Manchester, I was part of a team of trainers teaching others there all about the work they would do. Sadly some of the folk in Sheffield weren’t too happy, I think they thought I’d been brought in to assist in getting their jobs moved, but that wasn’t the case at all.

Happily a good friend told me about jobs with the same firm but in Leicester, where my training skills would be utilised. I was able to get a transfer there and later on these same skills enabled me to start up my own business, which I did for a few years.

Throughout all of this upheaval, moving to different places, coping with changes, all the time I had a mixture of good and not so good days, of sunshine and showers. In the next few days we are likely to get some thunderstorms here, but they will clear away, the rain will dry up and the sun brighten up the sky again. It will always be so, even though we may not see it that way sometimes! I have even suggested that I might try doing a ‘rain dance’, but that might not be quite so easy for me to do whilst I am holding on to a walking frame!

Sunshine and showers, grey skies and blue, life may not always be quite as we would wish it to be but we can, as I have said before, change things as necessary. I’ve had to move house, I have had to accept the things I can no longer do but I look upon these things as page turners, a new chapter each time in my own book of life. Perhaps we might all try our best to enjoy both the sunshine and the showers, as they can all be refreshing in their own way.

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

07 August 2020

As humans we are not just a body, we are a mind too. Whilst not everyone may agree with me, I believe we also have a spirit within us. So when it comes to the question of healing, for our body we see a doctor or go to hospital to seek specialist help. Likewise if our mind is troubled we seek help from a trained specialist. The same is true for the spirit and we can seek help from spiritual healers.

Covid-19 is creating so much extra work in hospitals, but it is also having a knock-on effect in other places. Lockdown means no visits by relatives or friends to Care Homes, so patients and their families are suffering as a result. We are limited as to how close we are allowed to get to each other and for many that can be most frustrating.

Spiritual healing may be done in a few different ways and there are a number of therapies available nowadays. One which has been and continues to be good for me is a particular relaxation therapy called Arka Dhyana. It has been taught to me by Srinivas Arka, a man who is also well-known around the world as an author and philosopher.

Some healers use their own hands to heal those they are caring for, but Arka Dhyana uses a combination of ones own touch, sound and breath. The sound is a unique one and the breathing is done in such a way as to make the person more aware of it, as under normal circumstances our bodies breathe automatically. As with some other healing techniques it is known that there are certain energy centres in the body. In this technique, by simply touching these centres and making a particular, unique sound the healing is energised.

I will mention at this point that this has nothing to do with any religion, I have not altered in any way my belief or faith in God, nor have I been asked to do so at any time. What I have found is that this healing technique works for me and for a great many others around the world, in many different countries.

As a result of all this I am a much calmer person, learning to adapt to all of the changes that have occurred in the last few years and most notably those in the last few months! My body is getting healthier, my mind is clearer and I am now much more at peace spiritually.

Click: Return to top of page or Index page

31 July 2020

There is a saying I like which is “Anything and everything is bound to change from one form to another at some time in the universe. Hence change is the only constant in the universe, besides the eternal universe itself.”

In the same way we are subject to change in one way or another as we grow, being affected as we are by everything around us and how we react to those changes. Sometimes we learn from these changes, though often it takes us time to do so. Sadly some never learn, doing the same things over and over again but expecting different results at some point. That does not occur!

What I have found over the years is to try and learn from my mistakes, to not repeat them (even though that can be difficult at times) and to make those changes, even if it means coping with quite big changes at times.

When I was much younger, attitudes by others towards me and my disabilities meant I had to act so that others did not notice them. For example, finding a different way of tying shoelaces – I found my own way of doing so because my right hand was (and still is) too weak to do the job the way others do. Happily I have found that over time more and more people seem to accept that whilst we may look similar, we are all different. I now find that I am generally treated in a far better way, but that may also be because I behave slightly differently now. I take the time to explain my disabilities and show how I try my best to cope, but equally how I accept there are some things I simply cannot do unaided.

Sadly there are some people I have met who have found it difficult to accept the changes it was necessary for them to make in order to survive. One lady I knew who had cancer almost demanded that the world should change to suit her. A man I knew who was a brilliant musician was advised to lose weight but did not do so, whilst another dear friend ignored the words she was given about changing her life. They were offered choices, given a chance to change their ways in this life but did not do so. As a result their lives on this earth ended earlier than they might otherwise have done.

Even now I am facing further changes in how and where I live, as I am unable to get out and about the way I used to. But what has sustained me in these difficult times, apart from my faith in God, is that I know these changes are what I need for the next chapter in my life. We cannot know in any definite way what tomorrow may bring, but by looking after ourselves, with proper food, with gentle exercise and appropriate relaxation we can not only be helping ourselves but also then be able to help others. There are many forms of exercise, many different foods and many different forms of relaxation. I have found what seems to suit me best, for example I do not eat red meat. I am learning to walk again and have been taught an excellent relaxation therapy which others also find to be of great benefit. As previously said, I shall write more about that later. Suffice it to say for now that for me, this has been a major contributor in coping with this particular life-changing experience.

Click: Return to top of page or Index page